FootyJokes.com

 Two blokes were walking through a cemetery when they happened upon a tombstone that read:
"Here lies John Sweeney, a good man and a Chelsea fan."
So, one of them asked the other: "When the hell did they start putting two people in one grave?" 

Q. Two Chelsea fans jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground first?.
A. Who gives a F**K! 

Q: What do you get when you cross a Chelsea Fan with a pig?
A: I don't know, there are some things a pig just won't do. 

Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon?
A: A Problem.

Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon?
A: An even bigger problem.

Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon?
A: Problem solved

Q: How do you define 144 Chelsea fans
A: Gross Stupidity 

Q: Why did Chelsea go on the stock exchange?
A: To prove that crap can float. 

Q: What is the difference between Gianfranco Zola and a mini?
A: A mini can only carry three passengers. 

Q. Why do Chelsea fans whistle whilst sitting on the toilet?
A. So they know which end to wipe! 

I've heard that Stamford Park has arguably the best pitch in the Premiership. Well...not entirely suprising considering all the shit that has been on there. 

Q: What's the difference between a Chelsea supporter and an Onion?
A: No one cries when you chop up a Chelsea fan! 

Q: What do Chelsea keepers and SInger Michael Michael Jackson both have in common?
A: Both wear gloves for no apparent reason. 

Q: What does Claudi Ranieri say when Chelsea score?
A: Fantastic. Now let us try to get goal at other end of pitch.