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Bloke comes home from the bar drunk at 4am in the
morning. His wife is sleeping and he tries to sneak into bed. He's laying in bed
for a few minutes and lets rip a fart. His wife wakes up and asks, "What in the
world was that?"
He replies, "Touchdown, I'm up 7 nothing." She thinks to herself, "I'm gonna fix him." Then she lets one loose. He yells at her, "What was that?" She replies "Touchdown, tie score." Now he thinks, "I'm gonna fix her." He's laying there for about 10 minutes trying to work one up. He tries so hard he craps in bed. The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?" He replied, "Half time, switch sides." --- Two guys are talking about their boss's upcoming wedding. One bloke says, "It's ridiculous, he's rich, but he's 95 years old, and she's just 24! What kind of a wedding is that?" The other says, "Well, we have a name for it in my family." "What do you call it?" "We call it a football wedding." The first asks, "What's a football wedding?" The other says, "She's waiting for him to kick off!" --- Q: Why can't Michael Irvin be in the Cowboy
huddle anymore? --- An anxious woman goes to her doctor. "Doctor,"
she asks nervously, "I'm a bit worried - can you get pregnant from anal
intercourse?" --- Q: Why is the pitch at Kansas City so Green? --- Q: How do the Cowboys spend the first week of
training camp? --- The Cowboys had a 12 and 5 season this year. 12 arrests and 5 convictions. --- Q: How do you kill a NY Giants fan when he's
been drinking? --- Q: What does the average Jacksonville player
get on his SATs? --- Q: How do you get a Tennessee graduate off your
porch? --- Q: What do you get when you put 28 Arkansas
cheerleaders in one room?
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@copy Jim Welsh 2007